85% of success comes down to our ability to get along with others and make friends.

I believe "How to Win Friends and Influence People," written by Dale Carnegie, is a masterpiece about getting along with people, winning friends, and building lasting friendships with others. It's arguably one of the best books written on personal development.

Even billionaire Warren Buffet said this book had a huge positive impact on reducing fear and interacting better with other people.

Here are tried and tested lessons from the book that you can add to your skills in relationship building:

1. Don't criticize, complain, or about others gossip. Action: Practice empathy and try to understand others' perspectives before jumping to criticism.

2. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Action: Compliment or appreciate one genuine thing about someone every day.

3. Arouse in the other person an eager want. Action: When persuading, focus on how what you do benefits the other person, not just you.

4. Become genuinely interested in other people. Action: Ask people about their interests and listen actively.

5. Smile with others. Action: It is the universal “I am your friend” sign. Make a habit of smiling with people you interact with.

6. Use people’s names. Action: make a habit of using other people’s names during conversations. It is the sweetest word they want to hear them.

7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves and their interests. Action: In conversations, focus more on listening than speaking.

8. Talk in terms of the other person's interests. Action: When engaging in conversation, steer it towards topics that interest the other person.

9. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely. Action: Acknowledge others' contributions and values sincerely.

10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Action: Avoid unnecessary arguments with people.

11. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, 'You're wrong.' Action: Instead of direct disagreement, use phrases like "That's an interesting point. I see it differently...".

12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Action: Acknowledge your mistakes openly and seek to correct them.

13. Begin in a friendly way. Action: Start interactions with enthusiasm and gratitude.

14. Get the other person saying 'yes, yes' immediately. Action: Start with points of agreement before discussing differences.

15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. Action: Encourage others to express their thoughts fully.

16. Let the other person feel that the idea is theirs. Action: Guide others to your conclusions subtly, letting them feel it's their idea.

17. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. Action: Regularly practice empathy and ask questions to know their perspectives.

18. Be sympathetic to the other person's ideas and desires. Action: Validate others' feelings, even when you disagree.

19. Begin with praise and honest appreciation. Action: Start feedback with a positive before discussing areas for improvement.

20. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. Action: Provide suggestions instead of direct criticism.

21. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. Action: Encourage collaboration through questions rather than commands.

22. Let the other person save face. Action: Provide constructive feedback in a way that preserves dignity.

23. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Action: Actively look for and acknowledge progress in others.

24. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. Action: Set high expectations for others in a supportive way. Use encouragement.

25. Make the fault seem easy to correct. Action: Be encouraging about the ease of improving and overcoming faults.

26. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. Action: Ensure that your suggestions align with what brings happiness or satisfaction to the other person.

If you have read the book already, I highly recommend you read this book.
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Dulik Kohomange​
Executive Coach & Business Advisor
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